We are boys and girls...of the new world treading young

 Here are some pictures that I've taken throughout the week without having been able to process them before yesterday.

I've got to say that seing beautiful photos sets on Flickr and similar sites always stir up a photography nerve in me. I admit ( It's quite obvisous) that my work isn't half as beautiful, but I hope I'd be able to do better on future occasions.

This site (here) helped me with achieving the "retro "effect I so like in photos; the one with scratches (picture in the upper right) is of a particular appeal to me.
That said, I have the stringent urge to buy a professionnal camera, although I'm not sure I can handle the tool properly being a hobbyist.

"She doesn't speak...so much that I thought she might have trouble with the staff members

 This post is rage-induced utter nonsense

why can't people just leave you in peace!
They ask you to sociabilize when you least feel like it
...well I've got nothing to say, nothing to ask
Mute is my by default setting
So F*** OFF!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Earlier this day (on my diary):
- Faire le tour des bureaux le matin pour saluer les gens est à mes yeux un supplice plus insoutenable que les douze travaux d'Hercule réunis; mais je le fais comme même...convenance sociale (hypocrito-sociale) exige!
-  Ce nouveau recrue auquel je tends la main pour le saluer et qui me tend le bout de ses doigts en contrepartie comme si j'étais atteinte d'une maladie manuellement transmissible.
- Le monsieur derrière moi incarnant la joie de vivre, d'une gaieté rare frôlant la naïveté. Souriant, bavard et multi-relationnel me fait sentir socialement anxieuse!

Irony

Today I cried, something I never thought I would do
Though it makes me happy to know, that I'm not a sadist like you

After all this time

 on flickr

Please understand that I'm not that "mean-spirited"
I'm just being realistic because this is what I've always known myself to be
This is probably by far my most cherished virtue
the only trait of my personality I'd always take pride on
and I just can't let go of it
not for anything
not for anyone
and obvisously not for now
...and for now I'm craving a new book
  

Old but unwise (Birthday musing)

I'm turning twenty-three today...and this actually scares me.

It scares me because it reminds me (like every year) that I'm not good at keeping up with the pace of getting older. My birthdays have this common, unfailing characteristic among them of quite taking me by surprise.

I'm not afraid of the fact of getting older, the process itself doesn't scare me! My apprehensionstems only from the prospect that I might have to take on a different persona, to put on some kind of disuguise in order to cope with daily social interactions or responsibilities on the horizon.

I sincerely believe that my approach to life and attitude towards people ought to have changed by now. My decisions are still  tainted by a great deal of a recklessness, emotional outbursts and mere affinity. I tend to lose interest in anything not likely to help me indulge in my dreamy musings and wishful thinking, and I fear that my lack of practicality will end up making me feeling left out and disillusioned.

There are no plans or pathways clearly laid out for me that I would proudly and confidently walk. Moroever my deteriorating self image and confidence don't make this little world of mine any better place to live in.

However, and amidst all the frustrations, the turmoil, the highs, the lows, the deceptions, the twists and turns, I feel content with my life and am hopeful and receptive of what it has to offer. I am thankful for so many little things, for the presence of so many people and I hold the utmost unwavering confidence that better things -yes!better things- will come along.

PS: I don't smoke and smoking actually revulses me. I just liked the atmosphere of the photo above.

Listening to: Writing to Reach you by Travis

... makes me laugh, cry, sing along with it, want to fall in love, shout out any thought that happens to cross mind at the moment to the world, fall like a feather to the ground to find no cushion...and just live boundlessly.