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Showing posts with label My mind ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My mind ramblings. Show all posts

Monday, October 26, 2009

Lecture matinale



" Une liberté individuelle sans cesse augmentée conduira de plus en plus chacun à se considérer responsable de sa seule sphère personnelle, professionnelle et privée, à n'obéir en apparence qu'à s'on propre caprice et en fait aux normes fixant les exigences de sa propre survie. [...] l'homme de demain percevra le monde comme une totalité à son service, dans la limite des normes imposées par les assurances à son compotement individuel; il ne verra l'autre que comme un outil de son propre bonheur, un moyen de se procurer du plaisir ou de l'argent, voire les deux. Nul ne songera plus à se soucier d'autrui: Pourquoi partager quand il faut se battre? Pourquoi faire ensemble quand on est concurrents? Plus personne ne pensera que le bonheur d'autrui puisse lui être utile. Encore moins cherchera-t-on son bonheur dans celui de l'autre.
Le monde ne sera qu'une juxtaposition de solitudes [...], pour contrecarrer cette solitude, beaucoup choisiront de partager à tout âge, avec d'autres, provisoirement ou durablement, un toit des biens, des avantages, des combats, des jeux [...]. Beaucoup checheront dans ces réseaux d'ininies occasions de rencontres précaires rémunérées ou non."


Je n'ai pas choisi de publier cet extrait d'une "brève histoire de l'avenir" pour faire l'éloge de ce prototype humain décrit par Jacques Attali et qui est selon lui la manifestation de la "première vague de l'avenir."
En fait, ce culte du moi, ce mouvement vers le triomphe de valeurs indivudialistes (si tant est qu'on puisse les nommer ainsi) a toujours eu tendance à me faire peur et à susciter ma révulsion.
Ainsi, m'étais-je surprise ce matin à lire et à relire le passage ci dessus, pensant longuement à l'avenir inéluctable vers lequel tend les relations humaines.
Ces valeurs qui régiront le monde de demain, prônant unconditionnellement la prévilégisation du bien être individuel, feront s'ils ne le font déjà que tout le monde soit en quête de cette propulsion du Moi au dessus de la masse humaine, qui n'est désormais qu'un "amas" d'autruis tous considérés concurrents, se livrant ainsi à la recherche perpétuelle d'un bonheur ne pouvant exister qu'en puisant dans celui des autres.
Cette image "morose" quoique loin d'être surprenante pour moi de l'avenir de nos sociétés humaines, ne m'a pas laissé cependant indifférente.
Cet homme n'est-il pas en train de nous livrer sans déguisement quelconque l'image de nos relations de tous les jours sous sa forme la plus crue?
On a beau prétendre ne pouvoir évoluer qu'au sein d'une société en compagnie d'individus, on nous assome chaque jour à coup de doses d'humain, qu'on nous incorpore du matin à l'école jusqu'au soir en regardant sa télé, bref : dans tout ce à dont l'autre puisse prendre part jusqu'à ce qu'on y adhère par quelque candide besoin.
Certes on ne peu nier que ce qui définit l'intinct humain sont les sentiments. Ils sont à la base de toutes nos réactions, on n'agit qu'en réponse à cette pulsion qui n'est autre que celle du ressenti. Un ressenti qui si jamais réprimé ne manque pas de se manifester sans que l'on se rende vraiment compte. Tout celà par rapport à autrui, ce même autrui épris d'absolu dans la satisfaction de ses désirs, dans sa quête perpétuelle du bonheur que rien ne semble pouvoir assouvir.
En écrivant ces quelques lignes le matin dans ma chambre à l'internat, je songeai à quel point je devrais intégrer cette dimension de l'autre dans ma vie quotidienne.
Je ne me plairais pas à me décrire comme étant le modèle humain dont il est question au passage, je suis d'ailleurs loin de pouvoir en faire partie quoique j'en aie vraiment envie par moments. Et si un jour j'y adhère par quelque force majeur, je n'oserai m'en vanter aussi ostensiblement.
Parce que jusqu'à ce moment, je sais que cette perception que je me fais de l'autre ne laisse pas de se répercuter sur mon être, meuble mes moments de solitude de réflexions tous intégrant l'"autre". L'autre puissant, l'autre subversif, l'autre vulnérable, l'autre caméléon ne me cesse de me surprendre chaque jour de plus en plus.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

It's been a while...

Having not posted for about six months time, I feel unfair towards that passion i once thought insatiable of keeping a blog and updating it with "highlights" of my life -i still don't know what are the things i've been through that i should call so; but i guess i mustn't have had many of them!
I know that I happen to go through some "neglect assaults" -quite compulsively- that prevent me from undertaking any kind of action likely to last in time, but i mainly wanted to put more order into my ideas through blogging, as if the thought of them being somewhere here, under my sight and not only confined somewhere into my mind, will help me get a tighter grasp on things.
But i'm glad i'm finally getting the opportunity to write this, actually i've been awaiting for more than a month to retrieve some of the spirit that i'd allow me to add that precise entry and assume some of the reality that i'd be putting in it.
A reality that killed much of the magic of the last entry, and that left me grieve over every word in it.
A reality that will leave me carry the memory of two of the best years i've ever spent or that i'd just be spending in my life!Let's face it people ( or shall i say self), i'm leaving the school where i spent two amazing years, have had the closest friendships to my heart, and got over the dreadful feeling of failure i thought would be paralyzing for life!
I know i've been longing for my new school for what feels like 4 years now, but the pain that change has caused me, got me rethink the dearest wishes to my heart and wish it hadn't just come true!
I pray everyday for that change to be for the better, i'm dreading delusion more than ever. OMG, I so need to get over this!
I promise i'll keep up with the updates (if anyone ever cares reading this), I know my need for writing next time will be so urging.
Regards,

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Not this time!

So here I am...stuck at home again, trying to make make myself ready for a whole week exams I'm actually far from being able to get ready for...
I don't know how many weekends I've consecutively been spending here at home, but I guess it's been quite a long time since I've last went out doing some saturday shopping or been to my grandma's home for which I feel an outburst of deep yearning like never before ! It's not that I've always had something precise to do on these days, but on times, I just didn't feel like going anywhere, it's a kind of inner emptiness that no human contact seem to be able to fill.
But now that I need to gather all my forces and will to work, I feel I'm eager to some people company so much that I can't get to focus on anything that I'm doing. I perfectly know that it's not an appropriate time for holding such a feeling, but I just can't help it!

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Writing impulse!

I wish I could update my blog more oftenly that I've been doing it so far.
In fact, It occurs to me as i'm going through some of my everyday activities, to get some -on spur of the moment -ideas quite surprisingly so much that most most of what seems commonplace for me as being dealt with on a daily base, takes new meanings for me and becomes some unexpectable source of inspiration.
I have to admit that it is my tendency to feel things intensively that bring about such attiude and i don't know whether i should feel blessed or misfortunate for this, for extreme sensibility automatically brings on its way more vulnerability and i've grown quite sure of this recently.
Anyhow, i think that whatever may be my reasons for writing they can't be but an effective way to pour out my soul, whether they were brought about by positive or negative impulses.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

I don't feel like being 20 today!


Today was my birthday, this may sound gramatically incorrect but it is just how it all seems to be for me. An overwhelming feeling of being so far behind events, of not belonging to any period of time fills me at this very moment of the day. Maybe this is how it feels to grow one year older without having really grown at many considerations!. What I mean by considerations is not necessarily related to maturity or wisdom, I'm quite aware of the category of age I'm about to enter. But it is mostly the feeling of not having made things different from what they used to be one year before now, of not having attained this slight difference I wished could just occur in my life.
Change may be subtle, even unnoticeable sometimes but it feels to be lacking wherever it was meant to happen. I don't know what is this change I would have wanted for myself, I'm far from reaching everything I have aspired for, but I do at the same time ignore what precise change do I need to feel in priority.
Sometimes I come even to ask myself whether I have put too much goals into perspective that I'm finally reaching none of them. Where does this interference in aims just come from? Is it my will to have everything in hand without knowing what everything is truly about. Do I really have what this change takes? I've been asking myself these questions at different stages of my existence, but today i feel they are asserting themselves more than ever. Maybe the real change doesn't even need to happen to me but to the people I'm dealing with on a daily base, since the change that truly breeds good things into one's life and help us fulfill inner and outer containement, is the one that gradually finds its way to us
From all this things, one thing is fore sure: I don't feel like being 20 today!