Uninspired...

My memory frightens me!
It is uncontrollable, untameable and is taking power over me. It just makes me feel hepless that I can do nothing to fight or just follow its course. It has this power to play sounds in my ears, bring images into my sight and makes me immerse myself in the sheer illusion of the moment.
I just lose track of all that's around me and start living whithin my thoughts. I know that it is just my imagination, that I have to get back to reality, that reality is after all what makes me seek relief in my thoughts but I feel different, my fears are chased away and the stream of my thoughts is stirring...sometimes tears even start coming down my face and I suddenly find myself crying bitterly.
I'm not depressed, I'm not being suicidal developing any will to escape from the life I lead, there are so many things I feel thankful for, I'm just sad and don't seem to be able to let get go of things from my past that I sometimes feel the need to lose hold on reality, reality for me is not a moment fixed in time, not a state, not a fact or series of facts that are taking place but it reveals my whole way of thinking, and thinking can be on times harder to endure than any sad reality!